How many of us have that annoying little voice inside our head which says negative thing? It chirps on about this and that and can be so powerful it strips us of our self confidence and belief.
I had one of those once. I say, once, because now there are a multiple of people there and they all have a lot to say.I call them the Inner Council and they help me come to conclusions.
It's not a new idea, in fact Edison had his own as well as Carnegie and if you have read the book, Think and Grow Rich, you will have read about the experiment carried out by Edison and how the development of his Inner Council became so potent it worked with him on many projects and successfully de-bugged many.
So what is this Inner Council? Its a group of individuals or aspects of your own personality you respect and find useful to bounce ideas off. I have quite a few but the most influential are a business woman who has been successful for over twenty years, a farmer who's connection with the land is very strong and keeps me firmly in nature, another woman who's background is somewhat underhand and positively illegal but has a take on life I cannot duck, a very wise lady who has been round the block many times and knows how it is, and of course, me.
Edison chose to have people who were both alive and dead, such as Jefferson, whilst Hill himself went for Emerson, Paine, Darwin, Napoleon, Ford and Carnegie.
So you fancy your own Inner Council? Imagine a room where you will meet and then invite them in one by one. Get to know them and practice it daily until the habit is established. Slowly the different members of the council will take on individual characteristics which do not rely upon you imagining it, it happens automatically. Now call the meeting to order and start discussing some of the issues or ideas you have. Listen to the replies, they will astound you with their suggestions and analysis.
So, if we are clever enough to make an inner voice who tells us we are useless, how about drowning that voice out and create a group of supporters and advisers?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Have you ever wondered?
I sat on the settee with a cup of tea in my hand looking out the window. I could see the plants and grass which constituted my garden and the trees and shrubs which hung over from neighbouring ones.
It then crossed my mind, what would I see if I could see everything that was there;everything including those things I had, for one reason or another, chosen to filter out of my vision over the years.
It had always struck me how two people could walk along a road and see the same things but be drawn by differing aspects.
I will give you an example; a friend of mine was a pirate radio hack, so when I go out with him anywhere, he spots all the pirate radio station ariels on tops of buildings.I wouldn't spot one if I fell over it but he is so in-tune with the radio he could tell you the type of ariel, the type of rig it is probably running, and how far they anticipate transmitting by its position on the roof.
I would walk along that self same street and notice the windows above the shops and the architecture of the buildings, because this is something I have always been interested in and love to explore. I imagine the dress of the time and listen to the sounds which would have frequented the street. I would imagine the horses and the carriages and listen to the language they would have used.
Whilst qualifying, one of the exercises we has to do was to walk a mile in each others shoes; in other words we had to follow them and do exactly as they did. We walked the way they did, we looked at the same as them and we stopped and perused in the same way. To an outsider this must have looked very strange - a convoy of people, one behind the other, all doing the same action, at the same time, and in the same way.
By the end of it, however, we had become aware that our view of the street or the view was not the same as anyone else's. So much so, in fact, one of the people following me turned round and said he was amazed at how much there was above a shop window, that he had never noticed, let alone thought about!
So returning to my garden, I imagined I was following some of these people and tried to visualise the view through their eyes; it was then I noticed the roof opposite with the two ariels on top and the houses next to it with extensions which were very different from the ones either side. I noticed the unevenness of the grass and how it no longer grew as a lawn but almost as rough ground, I noticed the spaces between the plants and the incompleteness of one side of the garden which detracted from the other.
Interesting.
So we found out we only saw what we chose to look at and would hear what we chose to hear. Now it gets interesting because if we chose what we hear, do we hear everything which is being said to us? Do we actually hear all the words and their underlying emotion or are we so tied up in our own world and emotions do we have no room left for any other information other than that we chose to listen to?
How many times have you heard people say, "I didn't say that! What I said was..." and they come out with something possibly similar to what you remember but the emphasis is different. You then retort with, "Oh no you didn't" and the argument begins because what was said and what was heard are not necessarily the same thing.
I carried on drinking my tea and contemplated this; how many times in my career as a teacher had I said one thing and it had been turned into something completely different; and what had I changed from its original in return?
This is where 'focused listening' comes into its own and to be honest I don't believe many people do this very often.
So what is this? It's a state you go into when you are so interested in what is being said you literally, 'hang off' every word, your whole focus is on the speaker and you shut out all other distractions around you.
Lets take an example; you are watching a really good film and it reaches the climax. You are on the edge of the seat, your eyes fixed on the screen. How aware are you of the furniture in the room, the telephone in the corner not ringing or the position of people around you? Its unlikely you are aware of anything much because you have entered a state of focused attention where the universe is reduced down to just that interaction, and for the time your attention is held, nothing else matters.
How would our conversations be if we were always that focused on what was said? How would our actions be if we had a level of focus which could maintain the activity?
My tea almost finished, I looked in the cup and realised I had focused so much on my thoughts I had lost sight of the tea I was drinking and had been doing so out of habit. Mmm. I wonder how many other things we do are out of a similar habit? I remembered back to those cigarettes I used to find in my hand half smoked......
It then crossed my mind, what would I see if I could see everything that was there;everything including those things I had, for one reason or another, chosen to filter out of my vision over the years.
It had always struck me how two people could walk along a road and see the same things but be drawn by differing aspects.
I will give you an example; a friend of mine was a pirate radio hack, so when I go out with him anywhere, he spots all the pirate radio station ariels on tops of buildings.I wouldn't spot one if I fell over it but he is so in-tune with the radio he could tell you the type of ariel, the type of rig it is probably running, and how far they anticipate transmitting by its position on the roof.
I would walk along that self same street and notice the windows above the shops and the architecture of the buildings, because this is something I have always been interested in and love to explore. I imagine the dress of the time and listen to the sounds which would have frequented the street. I would imagine the horses and the carriages and listen to the language they would have used.
Whilst qualifying, one of the exercises we has to do was to walk a mile in each others shoes; in other words we had to follow them and do exactly as they did. We walked the way they did, we looked at the same as them and we stopped and perused in the same way. To an outsider this must have looked very strange - a convoy of people, one behind the other, all doing the same action, at the same time, and in the same way.
By the end of it, however, we had become aware that our view of the street or the view was not the same as anyone else's. So much so, in fact, one of the people following me turned round and said he was amazed at how much there was above a shop window, that he had never noticed, let alone thought about!
So returning to my garden, I imagined I was following some of these people and tried to visualise the view through their eyes; it was then I noticed the roof opposite with the two ariels on top and the houses next to it with extensions which were very different from the ones either side. I noticed the unevenness of the grass and how it no longer grew as a lawn but almost as rough ground, I noticed the spaces between the plants and the incompleteness of one side of the garden which detracted from the other.
Interesting.
So we found out we only saw what we chose to look at and would hear what we chose to hear. Now it gets interesting because if we chose what we hear, do we hear everything which is being said to us? Do we actually hear all the words and their underlying emotion or are we so tied up in our own world and emotions do we have no room left for any other information other than that we chose to listen to?
How many times have you heard people say, "I didn't say that! What I said was..." and they come out with something possibly similar to what you remember but the emphasis is different. You then retort with, "Oh no you didn't" and the argument begins because what was said and what was heard are not necessarily the same thing.
I carried on drinking my tea and contemplated this; how many times in my career as a teacher had I said one thing and it had been turned into something completely different; and what had I changed from its original in return?
This is where 'focused listening' comes into its own and to be honest I don't believe many people do this very often.
So what is this? It's a state you go into when you are so interested in what is being said you literally, 'hang off' every word, your whole focus is on the speaker and you shut out all other distractions around you.
Lets take an example; you are watching a really good film and it reaches the climax. You are on the edge of the seat, your eyes fixed on the screen. How aware are you of the furniture in the room, the telephone in the corner not ringing or the position of people around you? Its unlikely you are aware of anything much because you have entered a state of focused attention where the universe is reduced down to just that interaction, and for the time your attention is held, nothing else matters.
How would our conversations be if we were always that focused on what was said? How would our actions be if we had a level of focus which could maintain the activity?
My tea almost finished, I looked in the cup and realised I had focused so much on my thoughts I had lost sight of the tea I was drinking and had been doing so out of habit. Mmm. I wonder how many other things we do are out of a similar habit? I remembered back to those cigarettes I used to find in my hand half smoked......
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
How many men does it take....
So how many men does it take to paint a bench on the railway station?
Well, it takes five; one to paint, one to watch, one to supervise and one on a step ladder and of course another holding it. True I promise you. Travelling up to London one day last week I came across these five men on the platform all very engrossed in their 'work'. The one on his knees doing the painting seemed unmoved by the others just watching so this was obviously not an unusual occurrence.
The bit which got me the most wasn't the gross overpayment for work done, or the men obviously enjoying their work, it was the fact none of the benches had signs which said 'BEWARE OF WET PAINT'
Well, it takes five; one to paint, one to watch, one to supervise and one on a step ladder and of course another holding it. True I promise you. Travelling up to London one day last week I came across these five men on the platform all very engrossed in their 'work'. The one on his knees doing the painting seemed unmoved by the others just watching so this was obviously not an unusual occurrence.
The bit which got me the most wasn't the gross overpayment for work done, or the men obviously enjoying their work, it was the fact none of the benches had signs which said 'BEWARE OF WET PAINT'
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