Inertia

Now before I start I want to hold up my hand and admit I know what it feels like to have this particular type; I had it for years and it was only a chance remark which broke the hold it had over me. I won’t say I am completely as free as one of my friends but I am better.

What am I talking about?

The fear of getting lost.

Strange how a one time adventurous person can become almost forced to stay within the bounds of what is known to them. On the other hand, there are people I know who seem to have developed this as an art from an early age and it prevents them from doing so much.

Take for example a bright young woman who is quite happy to get into her car and travel pretty much anywhere, but suggest she catches a train to London and she freezes. Here’s another, wont travel anywhere in the car they don’t know but would travel anywhere on a train, bus or plane (that’s me by the way). Two states of inertia yet totally opposite in their development.

Where does it come from and how does it keep running?

The fear of getting lost is something which has to be cultivated for a period of time, rooted in our primitive brain. We start collecting this fear slowly, developing it with skill and patience because it would be far easier just to accept the journey and go to where-ever it is and find your way, but people with this inertia spend hours developing the art to the point where they can break out into a sweat, shake and cry just at the thought of the journey into the unknown. I have no idea how long I cultivated and tended my fear but I did do a very good job and should be awarded a special prize for the effort I went to in making sure the panic began at least two or three days prior to the journey and created complete insomnia the night before. Wow! That must have taken a great deal of practise that’s all I can say.

But what is the fear based around? Well getting lost of course. But if you have never been there before, and you know nothing about the place how can you ‘get lost’, there is nothing you have been to before to get lost into? And that’s the rub. The fear is not being lost but the not knowing where you are and that is subtly different?

If you did not know where you were in your neighbourhood, you would know you had gone wrong (not lost) and using landmarks, return to the route you should have been on.

So the fear is not knowing where you are; OK that makes sense. So if you get scared of not knowing where you are, take a map!

It is tough making those who have this affliction realise, in this day and age with global tracking, it is impossible to be lost, just switch on the GPS on your mobile and look on the street map app you are bound to have these days. The flashing red dot is you! So there you are, on a street map, showing you where you are, so you are not lost, you are just in a place unfamiliar to you, where you haven’t as yet learnt the land marks and because they are so important to your well being they get learnt very quickly!

The young lady with the fear of London is now saying, “Yes, but...” she has a million and one excuses not to do it just in case; don’t we all.

How do you get over it? Accept it as illogical and just do it, the sweats and the panics go away after a while.

And what if you are one of those who cannot, best will in the world understand this fear and have to cope with someone with it?

Patience, please, we have spent ages developing this fear and it will take a few tries before we manage to get a grip on it; say useful things like, ‘get a map out’, or ‘how can you be lost in a place you have never been to before, you just don’t know the land marks yet’, or ‘get out your phone, now lets find the flashing red dot that equals you’.

Words of encouragement, words of independence and hay, one day we may be as free and easy as you. Well maybe.

And another month passes

Wow, another year and I am still writing and people are still asking for me to continue. So we enter the seventh year and if this was a marriage we would be reaching the point where the itch to look outward at something new would be creeping in. wonder where the emphasis of our minds will foray during this year; one of changes all round I suspect.

So far the weather has proved interesting and it has surprised even the most hardened of us to its ferocity. December saw the lowest temperatures on record for this country, with readings almost as low as Siberia, and Australia is experiencing flooding which again is only ever recorded once before in their history. The extremes are coming and as Brisbane has proved it doesn’t matter how far above sea level you are, there is still a chance of flooding. Well, the only thing we can say is we didn’t reach some of the potentially low temperatures as experienced in the Russian Steppes, but then minus 21 is certainly low enough for me.

The birds have found it a struggle, finding much comfort, I suspect ,in the fat balls and seed I have kept coming all through the worst of the weather. OK, so some of the birds would be not your favourites such as starlings and pigeons but they all have their place and they all deserve a chance. Nothing worse than freezing to death; after all we have the central heating, what do they have?

Gardeners World have a very interesting article this month about the common birds in the garden and how to feed them throughout the year. They have tips on what to feed when, which, if you want to have plenty of visitors, would be worth reading. They have a handout of identifying birds which I would imagine would be of interest to children and they are running a piece of research into which birds come into the gardens when. I suspect they will give this to RSPB when done as it will give further information to the comings and goings of our birds and to some extent where we are losing them and perhaps where we maybe gaining.

New research shows the interest children have in new toys is approximately one month. This means by the end of this month, the items purchased at great expense and possibly overdraft, will be confined to the back of the cupboard never to see the light of day unless you remind them of the purchase. Ouch, that is what I call an expensive month of playtime.

So its January and that time or year when resolutions are going to be set. How have you done this I wonder, or have you, like some of the people I know, avoided even setting them because you can guarantee it wont succeed. What was it one of the clients said, “I want to give up the chocolate but the problem is chocolate doesn't want to give up me!” And that’s the rub; in this magazine I will give one explanation why these resolutions do not work and ways in which you would side step the problem.

To all of you, have a great year and let’s make 2011 a fantastic one regardless of what the pundits agonise over.

A lady I met once

Wandering through a store the other day I noticed something on the counter. It had a ticket on it saying 70% off and looked very pretty. Interested in having a closer look, I picked it up and opened it out. As I did so, a rather terse comment came from the lady not far from me, “I think you will find that is mine!” and with that she pulled it out of my hands. Obviously she had laid claim to it but had failed to keep it in her hands.

This ‘mine’ culture is very strong and has been for a very long time; in days-gone-by the jumble sales would be like this. I can remember hearing a story on the television of how a woman put her coat down to try another on and someone came along and tried to buy hers! She had a bad time getting it back from what I remember.

So how important is it to teach our youngsters the ‘mine’ attitude and where does it apply and not apply? I can often recall times when children would have done well to stand up for what was theirs and claim rights over things rather than allow the bully to take it away, because they could.

The lady in the shop looked at me straight in the eyes and accused me of stealing her goods and it was people like me who gave people like her a bad time in life and that people like me should be locked up. What could I do except grin from one side of my face to the other? Such stupid statements, such amazing presumptions, and incredible deductions, I am so glad she doesn't run our country or our laws, we would all be in for a bad ride.

She became very angry and shouted, “What do you think is so funny? You think you own the place…..” It went on and she really did disappear into a string of fascinating assumptions but I allowed her to finish and when she stopped I smiled widely, and said, “I am so sorry I didn’t realise you were buying that as a present for your daughter, she will look wonderful in it.” and with that I turned and went on my way. Of course she wasn’t buying it for her daughter and yes it was a put down but it gave me the out and her something to be confused over. Perhaps she could add that to her tirade of insults for the next person.