What is a garden for?

So many of us have gardens but do we use them to their fullest? Do we have a garden which reflects us or the people who lived there before? Is it dictated by what we expect we should do with it or do we experiment with what we really want? Do we have one which has been developed over the years by the needs of children and pets, or do we have one which gives us peace and relaxation? Is it designed to ‘keep up with the neighbours’ or is it a quiet peace of heaven designed specifically for us?
It’s a question I have been pondering this past month as I have looked out on the garden I inherited from a couple who had created it from scratch back in the 60s.
I have got rid of the small pond so common in those days, and I have changed the ‘patio’ area so it has simple lines and is more spacious than before. I have removed one of the walls they had to retain some of the earth but beyond that, is it really my space or is it something I have accepted as inevitable from the predecessors?
Looking at the front garden, little as changed except for the ‘old age’ ramps, rails and grab bars disappearing. It is flat, drab and lifeless.
I ask the question does the front garden reflect the owner of the house? Does yours? If someone was to look at the front of your home what would it say about you? Does the hallway in your home continue the garden approach or is it a sudden jolt of difference? Does your style reflect the house, reflect the garden? Is the outward ‘dressing’ cohesive?
When we think about the house, do all the rooms reflect the same persona? Or are there parts of the house you would be ashamed for someone to see because they are not what you would consider ‘good enough’? And if that is the case why has it been allowed to continue as ‘not good enough’?

In many ways the house and garden will reflect the completeness within our own nature and personality. Areas where there is chaos reflects the chaos which is inside. The number of people I have worked with who have reached moments of lucidity in their situation ending up clearing out cupboards, or tidying book shelves; almost as if they are reflecting in physical action the inner sorting that is going on.
When I look at the front garden here, it makes me wonder what it is reflecting in me. It is tidy and there is a lovely array of flowers which blossom for the majority of the growing season. There is, however a large area of poorly managed grass which although is well cut and edged, is weed bound and in desperate need of …. well something! If I were honest I would say it is reflecting an inability to move forward in something, because there is an inability to move on here.
I can hear you say, “Yes but it might just be that you haven’t got round to it, or its not that important in your life,” and you may be right, from your perspective, but just stop and think a minute, how much time and money do you lavish on the inside of the house? What is different about the outside?
Give yourself a challenge this year; look at the front approach to your home and think what you could do to make it reflect you and your family more. Add flower baskets or tubs and make the approach to your front door one which will delight people and make them anticipate you and your home. As you plan the front, think about how this can translate into the rooms and bring it all together.

Give yourself the challenge of making your home start at the end of your drive and then sit back and enjoy the well being you will get every time you pull onto you drive and step out into an extension of yourselves.

Time to Plan

The year is about to open its next season, one of growth and rebirth, and this is the time of year when we too should have our plans in place ready for their launch. Winter still has its hold and we can have cold snaps at any moment, nipping at the buds of promise, but there should be plans and alternatives in place so we can succeed in whatever it is we have decided we are going to achieve for ourselves this year.

The analogy between the natural seasons and achieving something is so strong we would be wise to take note of it.

A tree, for example, will have a finite number of buds to produce each year. If they unfurl too early then the frosts will nip at them and they will be damaged, but if the tree waits until it is too late then the flowering will miss the time when the insects it requires are looking for the nectar, they are already visiting other trees and plants, so the competition is high. The tree, therefore has to time

its launch so it takes as few chances as possible with the weather and greatest opportunities with its insects.

Our plans are the same; we plan and organise, but if we go too soon we are nipped back by circumstance and many of our options are used up. If we leave it too late then there is so much competition for our time, we have little to give our new idea. If we are launching a business, we have to have everything right so we can launch into our market place and attract the customers we want, attract the insects to the nectar we are selling. If we go to early we may be ahead of the insects, too late and they could already be elsewhere. We have a window of opportunity and if we dither we could well miss it only to regret it later.

Here are a series of questions to ask yourself in your final planning for the year ahead and a technique which will support your achieving of them;

The Lily Pad Technique

Very often we set ourselves goals we want to achieve but we forget to give ourselves a path of achievement. Its like saying I want to go to the Caribbean this year but saved no money to pay for the flight, or to say, I am going to take my driving test and not invest in any lessons. The lily pad technique is designed to do just that. It creates a series of lily pads to get you from where you are now to the other side of the bank, where you want to be,

1. What do you want to achieve this year?

2. List 5 of them in order of priority

3. Work out what it is you have to do to achieve each of these five as a series of steps and then check the probability of completing them is there. (don’t set yourself up to not do something)

4. Add dates to these so you can see when you are expecting to get things done.

5. Create a series of lily pads for yourself from the steps you have written down and use it as a way to show your progress.

As you jump from one lily pad to the next, reward yourself

1. with something like a quiet night in with a film and a bottle of wine, or go out for a meal. I like to have a treat on the back of each lily pad so when I get there I have the excitement of turning it over and seeing what it was I promised myself.

2. Adjust the lily pads if you discover you need an extra step.

I have used this technique with adults and children and it works well in both situations. One lady decided she would put lily pads on pieces of paper around the wall of her office room at home so she could see the progress she was making with writing a thesis for her course, and what it was she had to achieve next. A gentleman took his with him in his diary so he could check where he was on the move from one side, setting up the deal to the next, to getting the meeting to clinch the deal.

All the people I have done this with have said the same thing; once they knew how to jump across from now to then, they were able to go forward. Their biggest problem was not setting the goal but getting across that deep, deep river in between, where anything could sweep them away from their path.

As one person said, “At least this way I keep my feet dry!”

What a lovely way of putting it.

Here’s an example one person set themselves;

I am going to complete the written work for my course by a deadline of July;

Pad 1: check all the information I require is on my data base.

Pad 2: read through the course work requirements and ensure I understand exactly what I have to do.

Pad 3: Contact college and clear up any last minute questions.

Pad 4: create a timetable I WILL STICK TO, to start the project work—apportion time appropriately

Complete pads 1-4 by 25 Jan

Pad 5: Begin the timetable and follow it!!!

Pad 6: review the progress— 2nd week in March—adjust accordingly

Pad 7: review the progress— end of June—adjust accordingly

Pad 8: complete and do final edits. Hand in July 18th

Did she do it? Yes and she passed and did so easily, once she was in the flow of following her plan.

A time to plan

The year is about to open its next season, one of growth and rebirth, and this is the time of year when we too should have our plans in place ready for their launch. Winter still has its hold and we can have cold snaps at any moment, nipping at the buds of promise, but there should be plans and alternatives in place so we can succeed in whatever it is we have decided we are going to achieve for ourselves this year.
The analogy between the natural seasons and achieving something is so strong we would be wise to take note of it.
A tree, for example, will have a finite number of buds to produce each year. If they unfurl too early then the frosts will nip at them and they will be damaged, but if the tree waits until it is too late then the flowering will miss the time when the insects it requires are looking for the nectar, they are already visiting other trees and plants, so the competition is high. The tree, therefore has to time its launch so it takes as few chances as possible with the weather and greatest opportunities with its insects.
Our plans are the same; we plan and organise, but if we go too soon we are nipped back by circumstance and many of our options are used up. If we leave it too late then there is so much competition for our time, we have little to give our new idea. If we are launching a business, we have to have everything right so we can launch into our market place and attract the customers we want, attract the insects to the nectar we are selling. If we go to early we may be ahead of the insects, too late and they could already be elsewhere. We have a window of opportunity and if we dither we could well miss it only to regret it later.
Here are a series of questions to ask yourself in your final planning for the year ahead and a technique which will support your achieving of them;
The Lily Pad Technique
Very often we set ourselves goals we want to achieve but we forget to give ourselves a path of achievement. Its like saying I want to go to the Caribbean this year but saved no money to pay for the flight, or to say, I am going to take my driving test and not invest in any lessons. The lily pad technique is designed to do just that. It creates a series of lily pads to get you from where you are now to the other side of the bank, where you want to be,

What do you want to achieve this year?
List 5 of them in order of priority
Work out what it is you have to do to achieve each of these five as a series of steps and then check the probability of completing them is there. (don’t set yourself up to not do something)
Add dates to these so you can see when you are expecting to get things done.
Create a series of lily pads for yourself from the steps you have written down and use it as a way to show your progress.
As you jump from one lily pad to the next, reward yourself with something like a quiet night in with a film and a bottle of wine, or go out for a meal. I like to have a treat on the back of each lily pad so when I get there I have the excitement of turning it over and seeing what it was I promised myself.
Adjust the lily pads if you discover you need an extra step.

I have used this technique with adults and children and it works well in both situations. One lady decided she would put lily pads on pieces of paper around the wall of her office room at home so she could see the progress she was making with writing a thesis for her course, and what it was she had to achieve next. A gentleman took his with him in his diary so he could check where he was on the move from one side, setting up the deal to the next, to getting the meeting to clinch the deal.
All the people I have done this with have said the same thing; once they knew how to jump across from now to then, they were able to go forward. Their biggest problem was not setting the goal but getting across that deep, deep river in between, where anything could sweep them away from their path.
As one person said, “At least this way I keep my feet dry!”
What a lovely way of putting it.

Here’s an example one person set themselves;

I am going to complete the written work for my course by a deadline of July;
Pad 1: check all the information I require is on my data base.
Pad 2: read through the course work requirements and ensure I understand exactly what I have to do.
Pad 3: Contact college and clear up any last minute questions.
Pad 4: create a timetable I WILL STICK TO, to start the project work—apportion time appropriately
Complete pads 1-4 by 25 Jan
Pad 5: Begin the timetable and follow it!!!
Pad 6: review the progress— 2nd week in March—adjust accordingly
Pad 7: review the progress— end of June—adjust accordingly
Pad 8: complete and do final edits. Hand in July 18th
Did she do it? Yes and she passed and did so easily, once she was in the flow of following her plan.